Gay relationships just like any other relationships require effort and energy to make them work. I have over the years learned a few things that can help keep a relationship and make it enjoyable. These I have learned from personal experience and from observing friends who are in committed relationships.
The importance of communication in a relationship cannot be over emphasised. It is as important as oxygen is to human beings. It is by communication that we express our feelings. We experience what our partners feel by communicating. It should be as regular as possible. Communication can never be too much. And by communication, I do not mean chatting on WhatsApp or text or Facebook messenger. It includes getting your damn phone and calling your boyfriend, and not only calling when you need something. It involves talking. Talking about things that affect the both of you and your relationship, talking about future plans, adventures you want to take together etc. It also includes going out on a date and talking. It is only by talking that you can tell if your partner is happy or sad. Have fun, make jokes, laugh, tell him how you feel and let him tell how he feels about you and the relationship. If you feel that you are struggling to communicate with your partner then something is definitely amiss in your relationship. Communication is the foundation on which every relationship is built on. Without it then there is no relationship.
2. Appreciate him.
Gay men are emotional beings. They love being appreciated. They love being made to feel special and valued in the relationship. You do not need to jump into the deep sea or climb the Everest to make your boyfriend feel appreciated and special. It is the small gestures that you extend to your partner that make him feel appreciated. Talk to him. Tell him how much you love him, everyday, and what he means to you. Consult him when making decisions. Say thanks when he does something good for you. Say sorry when you have wronged him. That way he feels that he is valued and that he means a lot to you. The art of making of your partner happy and feel appreciated is not all that complicated. All it requires is for you to study what he likes and dislikes. That way you know what little things to do that will make him feel special. This should be done by both partners, not one. Treat him like you are still trying to win him and that way you will never lose him.
3. Spend time together.
Like communication, spending time together is key to a successful relationship, especially when you do not live with your boyfriend or partner. To build a strong relationship, you must spend time together. Quality time, not those random few minutes you spend together because you have taken up the same class or because you work together and you have to meet to discuss business matters. By spending time together I mean clearing your diary to spend a considerable amount of time with your partner. This could be going out for dinner or a movie, or skating or tennis or whatever sport you have in common. During this time, there should be little or no interruptions because spending time with your partner is as important as other things like work hence the reason for clearing your diary. During this time, you should not be catching up with friends on WhatsApp or chat or answering unnecessary calls or fidgeting with your phone. If you have to take a call during this time then it should be a very important call or an emergency and you should be courteous enough to excuse yourself to answer it. Your partner should have your undivided attention. This shows that he is important and means a lot in your life. Again, like communication, you should not be making a lot of effort to spend time with your partner. It should not always feel like you have to beg or ask to spend time with him. If you are trying to hard then he probably does not want to spend time with you and also probably does not want to be with you!
4. Travel or go on adventure together
They say travelling brings out a person’s true colours. It is only when you travel with someone that you get to learn more about them. You learn many things about them, like how clumsy are they when packing or getting from point A to B. You will know whether he is the type of person who is messy and dumps his clothes and shopping everywhere in the room after a shopping spree. You will get to know if your partner is organised and whether he is the kind of person who is on time or late for flights. You will learn how he behaves away from the glare of friends and family. Travelling together also opens up your relationship to deeper fields. Your love grows deeper when you travel and do crazy adventure things. You get more connected when you are away from your comfort zones.
Sex is the bond that unites a couple in any relationship. It connects couples more than other things like communication that I have highlighted here. Intercourse gets you to feel your partner inside out. No amount of sex is enough. A couple that loves each other should have sex regularly. Daily sex is recommended. When you have sex with your boyfriend, you open up yourself for them connect with you and feel your love. Sex with the man you love is the most beautiful thing on the planet. You should give your boyfriend as much sex as possible or else he will go out looking for it from other men. Sadly, there are lots of men willing it to give it up and the last thing you want is your man to be cheating on you because you do not give him sex. And it has to be quality sex. Good sex requires mental preparation and should be fun. If it is not fun then one of you is not doing it right.
These are just a few tips that can help keep your gay relationship and make it the best experience ever.